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Hall0we-lujah, on to Christmas!

2 Nov

It was a long haunting weekend.  Halloween was on a Monday this year and the kids had an extended weekend with a two hour early dismissal on Friday and no school on Monday, so the celebrations began on Friday with a costume party at school.  Phoebe’s costume was an underwhelming last minute choice of Foxy Woxy from Henny Penny (just a crappy fox mask and a clip on tail that we have laying around in a costume bin).

On Saturday, we went to Baker’s 2nd birthday party where I met Isabelle for the first time and got my baby fix.  She’s so sweet and such a good baby.  Jan is one lucky mommy.

Then we rushed home to make it to a friend’s 46th birthday party and Halloween celebration for the kids.  It was awesome, but I left my phone home, so no pics.  Boo!  My costume was the underwhelming Foxy Woxy mask and tail that Phoebe wore to school, but I did attempt to create drama with a badly drawn smoky eye under the mask.  I was too tired to hose my face down when we returned home at 1 AM, so I woke up with some seriously stained white pillows and a face that looked like this


On Sunday, we had Trunk or Treat at the pool and it was supposed to be followed up by a Skate Night, but once again the Skate Truck didn’t show up, so the kids enjoyed their own personal scooters on the tennis courts while we set up the old school Ghostbusters movie on the big screen.  5 minutes into the movie a storm started brewing, so we had to call the whole thing off.


And then Monday… Halloween… finally came.  Time to Trick or Treat!  Phoebe’s costume cost all of $5 for a can of yellow spray paint.  Mike drew on the SpongeBob face and I painted it (and then repainted it after an accidental throw of a dog toy ripped a giant scar down the front of SpongeBob’s face.  It had to be surgically taped and touched up with another layer of not-so-well-matched paint).  It was a chilly year for trick or treating, but we survived… save for many houses that left their porch lights on, but were not handing out candy.  What’s up with that?!  Tess was hilarious though in her disappointment with said houses.  “Why don’t they have candy?”  “Why is their light on, though?”  “Why don’t they like Halloween?”  “Who doesn’t have CANDY?”  “Why… Why… Why… won’t they give me candy?”  Then she would stop at the end of their driveways and glance back at the candyless house as though she was memorizing their location and possibly thinking to herself this is the house that I’m going to egg tomorrow.

Jax roamed the neighborhood with his friends again this year and since they just went to each other’s houses, he pilfered all of the candy that Tess had received with peanuts/peanut butter in them from her plastic pumpkin.  Such a good big brother, looking out for the safety of his peanut allergy plagued little sister.  I managed to get one lone blurry picture of the boys before my camera died, but since I can’t find my charger, I can’t upload the photo… so you get none.

Leila went trick or treating across town with a few friends and apparently they decided to go to a haunted house along the way.  According to her text, she “barley screamed”.  I get a kick out of her misspelled texts.

As the long, several different costume-change-filled, Halloween came to a close, I was happy to say so-long to Halloween.  Bring on the Christmas!!!




Guess what?!!! I’ve been busy…

25 Nov

I’ve done this…

(My website… the other one… completely revamped with a store and all!!!  I can’t tell you how hard it is building a website from the ground up with only this…


as my guide… and honestly, the book might as well have been written in Swahili because I understood all of 3 words in it… including the title!) may be amateur and you know, not perfect, but *newsflash* “This just in, Carol Trader….”

and, yeah, I’ve busy doing things over at Pinterest.

and this….

and this…

and this…

(*sigh*  It’s true… I still haven’t gotten around to cleaning that mirror!)

and this…

and the whole family worked on this…

"Thanks"Giving Tree

one of my leaves

one of Phoebe's leaves

one of Phoebe's leaves (and she doesn't have an octopus...?)

one of Leila's leaves

one of Leila's leaves

one of Michael's leaves (...and of course, he was thankful for his son, too... Jax, just got his own leaf)

one of Michael's leaves (...and of course, he was thankful for his son, too... Jax, just got his own leaf)

one of Jaxon's leaves

(This is our “Thanks”giving Tree, on which we’ve been placing a leaf with something we’re thankful for everyday.  Phoebe’s are the best!  Some of which include… “leaves, Chic-Fil-A, raincoats, (she begs to go here daily so that she can teach herself Japanese, I swear she could order her own sushi at the local Japanese restaurant now… and get a “ball” and a “swing-set” to go with it.)

and then I did this…

(if you “LIKE” the facebook page “Three Flew Into the Cuckoo’s Nest” you will be sent a very special Etsy coupon code)

so hopefully I can sell a little on this…

Sorry that I’ve been absent, but as you can see, I’ve been a little busy!  And apparently the last post has decided to act-up in my absence!!!  What is going on with all of the missing photos?  It must have something to do with that stupid ‘ol Myspace blog that I’m trying to transfer everything from.  I can’t wait until that is done!!!!

trick or treat

5 Nov

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Leila was a blushing bride, Jaxon was “Super Jaxon, the Lightening Thief”, and Phoebe was the “Hear No Evil” Monkey!

I made Leila’s gown and veil and it looked much better when she wore it around the house the night before.  It was so cold that I had to load layers of underclothes on her, including a bulky pair of high-waisted sweat pants.  Each of the 200+ flowers were hand sewn on, along with varying sizes of crystals centered in the flowers.  I also made Jaxon’s cape and painted over the appliquéd lightening bolt with glow-in-the-dark paint.  It looked super cool!  I didn’t make Phoebe’s costume, nor did I tell her to cover her ears.  She came up with that clever idea all on her own.

His lightening bolt spear was painted with the glow-in-the-dark paint, as well.

“Trick or Treat!”

Phoebe?  Where did you go?  Do you want candy?

What-choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?  Someone’s going to give me candy???  I don’t know???  But, I’m excitedly suspicious!


She then proceeded to run from house to house, as fast as her little monkey legs could take her, following behind big brother and sister.  Sometimes, when I forced her, she’d say “Tee ‘o teet!”, but mostly she’d just grabbed as much candy as bowl holders would allow and run off to the next house.  Also, apparently she doesn’t care for the “Baby Ruth” bars because every time she got one she’d keep it in her hand until she got to the next house and as she grabbed for one of their Kit Kat bars she’d quickly slip the Baby Ruth in their bowl.  Kinda like some sort of underhanded Halloween trade.  The big hit of the night for her was the house that handed out a big box of raisins, which she immediately told me to open.  And when I said that I would do it when we were done trick or treating, she outright had a meltdown.  Halloween was immediately put on hold as the screaming monkey show commenced.  I wanted to wait for her to calm down and for her to say, “Please!”, but in classic bad-parenting form I just ripped the box of raisins open and handed them to her.  Anything you want, just CHILL!!! Holy-moley!

2 other disruptions of the Halloween celebration spectacular:

1)  I missed the annual television showing of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!”  I hate that!!!  I actually bought the VHS tape of the movie, 8 years ago, to ensure that I’d never miss it…  EVER!!!  I didn’t count on my husband’s electronic upgrade on the entire house.  Is there a VHS to Blu-ray converter in existence?

2)  I had to post this on Facebook:

“Which house was it that tried to pass off 40% less fat Reese’s Cups as candy??? They deserve to be toilet papered! I didn’t know that it was “reduced fat” until I bit into it and spit it back out. Terrible, just terrible. Guess I got a trick instead of a treat!”

Pardon me, but you’ve got a little something… right there.

7 Sep

Leila came home from school on Thursday complaining of a dry throat.  By 1:00 AM, I was awoken by a terrifying scream coming from Leila’s room.  She was sobbing and couldn’t even form the words to tell me that her throat was in pain.  She missed school on Friday.  By Saturday morning Phoebe had caught it and now… well, now I’m dreadfully ill.  So in lieu of a “real post”, please enjoy this half-*ss photo-montage.

Phoebe gets her first ice cream cone:

Umm, dude… you’ve got a little something… right there… on your face.

Nom, nom, nom.  I look doped up because I feel doped up.

And when you get tired of licking it, it makes a nice chin rest.

The rest of the ice cream is in this holder thingy.  Am I supposed to slurp it up through my nostrils or what?

No, no, no!  It’s way too cold to go through the nostrils! Could somebody please explain to me how to get to the rest of the ice cream in the bottom of this damn thing?!

OMG!  It’s cold!  Who just hit me over the head with a hammer?  What do you mean “it’s brain freeze”?  That sounds pretty serious.

Whatever!  The pain was brief.  Nom nom nom!  This stuff is so magically-delicious that I feel delirious.  Does anyone else notice that I am also starting to resemble the Cheshire Cat?

*hiccup*  Whoz ready for a nuther round?  Thissss wonz on me! *hiccup*

Yes, Phoebe… it’s definitely on you!

Prayers and Wonderwear

1 Sep

I’m currently very worried about a very tiny baby boy who had open heart surgery this past Monday.  He has an amazing mother who deserves, more than anyone, to have her prayers answered.  Her friends may not be sitting next to her, but they are crying tears with her.  We’re all praying for him.  Could you please add him to your prayers today, as well?  His name is Pax…

… and he is extraordinary!


In an effort to distract myself from my perch, where I wait for Facebook updates on Pax, I decided to finish writing the following post.  It was not without effort…


With all of the dramatic posts about Jax and Leila going to school, I bet you were wondering if we lost Phoebe.  Rest assured, she’s still here and enjoying having mommy all to herself during the day!  However, I think she’s under the impression that Jax and Leila are still here… I’ve just locked them away in their rooms for some reason.  (It happens often, so it’s not a far-out-there assumption.  I’m just kidding!  My kids doors don’t even have locks.  We’ve learned to limit the number of rooms that are lockable due to an unfortunate bathroom event when Leila was a toddler.  Stay-tuned for that up-and-coming post in a Flashback Friday edition.)  Anywho, Phoebe waves and yells “Nigh Nigh, Dax” and “Nigh Nigh, Lllleilllla”, as she passes their doors on her way to bed for an afternoon nap.

I’m still attempting to get her to keep her hair “pretty” (i.e. pigtails, barrettes, etc).  At one point, I had given up on struggling with her to get a barrette in her hair to keep it out of her eyes.  I’d put it in, she’d rip it out, I’d put it in, she’d rip it out, and so on, and so on, and so oooooooooooon!  So I cut her bangs, even though I really, really, really didn’t want to.  Now the bangs are growing out and the hair is back in her eyes.  Today, I gave ponytails another try.  I couldn’t believe how long her hair had gotten since I last put in ponytails.

I mean, look at them they are actually ponytails!

Wait, Mom!  I have to finish brushing my teeth, so that my smile can be shiny for my closeups.

Cheese! (seriously, you can’t tell because it’s just a still shot, but she is actually saying “Cheese!”)

After photo-documenting this new ponytail milestone, I took her shopping.  Phoebe is currently obsessed with the Wonder Pets.  The DVD is constantly in the BluRay and watched repeatedly all day long.  While at the store, I came across a package of size 2T Wonder Pets endorsed underwear.  Look, Phoebe!  It’s the Wonder Pets!  *she snatches them from my hands and says* Pets!!!  Yay!!!  Pets!!!  Ook, is Mean Mean!!  (Translation:  I’m so excited that I just wet my diaper!  The Wonder Pets are Gods!  And look, it’s Ming Ming!) She then hugged the package and the clerk couldn’t wrestle it from her grip to scan it.  I helped the clerk, there was a wee bit of objective screaming, and then her underwear package was snuggled within her arms again.  Once we got home, she carefully opened the package, so as not to tear the enclosed cardboard picture of the Wonder Pets.

And then she commenced with trying to put on all three pairs of Wonder Pets underwear at the same time!  (P.S. Did you catch that she no longer had pigtails in her hair?  She ripped them out before we even got to the store.  Of course she did, right?  Ugg!)

Myth: Underwear will stay on if you only put one leg through a hole.

Fact:  If a toddler wants something bad enough, they are not going to stop trying to get it until they succeed!

Ook, Daddy!  Pets!!!

Doesn’t she look so happy, wearing 3 pair of underwear over her diaper?  (Yes, that is her awesomely supportive mommy pointing and laughing at her in the background.)

Then she took them off and has since carried them everywhere she goes.

She hugs them and talks to them.

Don’t you wish something as simple as having the Wonder Pets on your underwear brought you as much joy?

I love you, Phoebe!  And I’d buy you 100 more pair of Wonderwear just to keep that smile on your face forever!

A very merry un-birthday…

16 Aug

… to who? to me? to you!

Actually, it was a very merry un-birthday to Leila and Phoebe last Saturday!  As you may recall, January and February of 2010 was record making snowy.  I tried rescheduling Phoebe’s birthday party and then Leila’s birthday party several times during those months, but every weekend we were hit hard by snow storms.  I eventually gave up and upon seeing the disappointment on Leila’s face promised her a 1/2 birthday party.  So this past weekend when Leila turned 5 1/2, we threw her an impromptu 1/2 birthday party at the swim club down the street.

Despite the horrid temperatures, over 100, that we have had most of the summer, and all of the thunderstorms that we’ve had lately, the weather held out for a perfect pool party.  We are so appreciative of friends and relatives that battled traffic from far away to show their love for Leila and Phoebe.  Dan and Sally drove with their 5 kids for 3 1/2 hours to be there.  It meant the world to us and I think everyone had a great time.  Luckily, regular club members were far and few, so we basically had the pools all to ourselves.

(note to self: do not squish non-existent biceps against non-existent chest… they flatten like pancakes!)

Do these glasses make my butt look big?

Phoebe attempted to give the pinata a whack.

You wouldn’t believe the prizes that they stuff into piñatas these days!

Look what popped out of ours!  …Uncle Matt?

to catch up

6 Aug

Here’s 2 months of my life in fast-forward.  Please enjoy my lazy effort to bring this blog up to date!

Phoebe grew up!  Actually, she’s pretty gigantic!  She’s 1.5 years old now and easily intimidates the elastic waist of a size 3 pair of shorts.  No joke, her chubby baby thighs are pretty edible.

I’ve had more wine!

We’ve had fun in the backyard, but Phoebe is a mosquito magnet, so the fun ends with her screaming and scratching herself to death at night.

Jaxon’s baseball season ended.  Thank God!  Mike has demanded that the baseball commissioner give him his own team to coach next year.

Believe it or not these are the two South Bowie age 9-10 baseball teams.  Add up the kids and do the math.  It’s pretty messed up, I think.

We built a fort in the living room.  It was promptly destroyed by Phe-Phi-Pho-ebe.  It was rebuilt and destroyed dozens of times over the course of a whole week.

She looks a tad like Alice in Wonderland.  You ate the wrong cake, Phoebe!!!

Who’s there?!

We flew model rockets.

Guess who spent hours building the rocket and spent weeks peeling super-glue from her fingers?  Hint:  It’s not anyone in this picture actually getting to enjoy the launch of the rocket.

While cleaning Leila’s room, Phoebe attempted to bring me my mug of coffee from the kitchen counter.  Don’t worry, she was in no danger of getting scalded, as I don’t drink hot coffee.  Is it weird to prefer your coffee at room temperature?

But she sure left a nice trail from the kitchen, down the hallway, and into Leila’s room.  Motherhood requires a lot of “Thank you, honey!”‘s behind gritted teeth.

The kids have gone to the pool nearly every other day.

It is fabulous!

What am I saying?

I rarely get to go.

Mike is the one who gets to splash around and have fun.

I’m usually a couple of blocks away scrubbing something or putting Phoebe down for a nap.  Not that I’m complaining!  Frankly, I think it’s pretty cool that Mike takes the kids off of my hands for a bit, so I can actually get something done.

Phoebe was extremely patriotic on the fourth of July.

A lot of people got wacked in the face with a flag that day.

Eat it!  I said “eat it”, woman!

It’s OK because she always says sorry and gives me a kiss after she beats me.  Phoebe is a master-manipulator.  I predict her first full sentence will be “It’ll never happen again!”

I got the best view during the fireworks.  How cute is that?

Ook, Dax!  Ook! (guide for your translation:  she calls Jaxon, “Dax”)

The rest of July was not documented by any camera that I can find at the moment, so it will be skipped.  I know, I know… you’re disappointed.  Grab a tissue, wipe those tears away, and I promise that further blogs will be more interesting… or at least, less picture filled.  Maybe Leila and I will play with Barbie, Ken and the débutantes again;)  There ya go!  I knew that would perk you up!

Product Review: Non-Toxic Tempera Paint

1 Jun

Last week, I pulled out the fingerpaints.  My plan was to let Phoebe experiment with the textures, Leila experiment with color mixing, and Jaxon explore his inner artist.  I poured small puddles of tempera paint onto a plate and put smocks on Leila and Phoebe (Which Phoebe decided was annoying and wouldn’t keep it on for longer than the blink of an eye… which I thought was annoying so I put the smock on her backwards and took safety pins and attached it snuggly to her… which I then thought, with a few more strategically placed pins, could resemble a little straightjacket:  Note to self-  If Phoebe continues scaling everything in the house as though it is Everest, grab smock and safety pins. I put the plate of paint on the paper and picked up my camera, turned it on, and immediately, this is what happened:

Eww, Phoebe!!!  What are you doing?  Contrary to your belief, not everything is food!

Hmm…It is blue, but does not taste like blueberries, Mommy!  Everything blue should taste like blueberries. *sucks paint off fingers* It is not bad, just not like blueberries… Nom nom nom

Jaxon, painting a volcano as usual… a geologist in the making.  His personal library is filled with books about volcanoes and he’s read them all, cover to cover, 10 times over.

Duh, Mom!  I know blue and red make purple.  This is boring!  Can we take a break, so that you can at least brush our hair?  I mean this is, like totally, embarrassing!

You’re crazy, Leila!  This is awesome, even if I am in a straightjacket!  Have some of this blue… nom nom… it’s pretty good… must be… nom nom… from a good year.

Now, what would happen if I mixed some of this yummy blue with this here yellow???

Ahh, yes, blue and yellow make… How do you say?… GREEN!  Not bad, not bad!  I think that I am quite possibly the best Tempera Chef ever!!!

And this is the painting that we all made.  You know, with whatever paint Phoebe didn’t eat!

Squirrel!… and other tidbits from Easter

8 Apr

Ahhh, Easter, the most glorious time of the year for kids (except for Christmas, and birthdays, and the last day of school, and any day in the summer which allows for a visit to the pool, and field trips, and sleepovers, and camping trips, and lightning bugs on a cool summer evening, and the airing of an “all new” Spongebob episode, aaaand…  Well, let’s just say that Easter ranks up there on the ultimate super-fun list.)  As soon as the Easter decorations and baskets are pulled down from their storage in the attic, the kids grab up all of the plastic eggs that they can find amidst the stored items and run outside and start practicing thier egg hunting skills.  This is great for the first few days because if they are driving me batty all I have to do is say, “Hey, why don’t you guys go outside and have an Easter egg hunt.” “Yay!” And they’re off and out of my hair for at least an hour.  But then, you know, because the grass grows around this time of year, I have to pick up dozens of mismatchy plastic egg halves all over the yard in order to run the lawn mower.  Yippee!  I get to join in on the festivities!

The night before Easter, Jaxon wrote the Easter bunny a long letter, while I tried to clean as best I could.  He put out a plate of carrots in the shape of a smiley face, as a gift for the Easter bunny.  He mentioned in the letter that, just in case the Easter bunny wanted more carrots, “I put the rest of the bag of carrots out for you, too and a ziploc bag for you to take them in.” Isn’t he thoughtful?  Everyone finally fell asleep around midnight and then I was up until 2:oo AM filling baskets with goodies and loading plastic eggs with Bunny Money.  I usually hide eggs for the kids in their bedrooms whilst they sleep, but upon peeking in their rooms I realized “Dear Lord!  How long has it been since they cleaned these things?  I couldn’t find the floor in here, let alone a colorful egg.” So, I took my basket of plastic eggs out to the backyard that they had been practicing in for weeks and hopped around strategically placing a blue egg here and a pink egg there.  I then wrote a response letter in bunny prose (I bet you didn’t know there was such a thing, did you?) thanking Jaxon for the carrots (I made a bunny shape for him with the leftovers) and explained that I was sorry that I couldn’t hide eggs in their rooms because they were super messy, but if they nicely asked Daddy to make a pancake breakfast, he would find a clue for a surprise I left for them.

After, they reexamined they Easter basket goodies (because they were up at 5:00 AM sneaking peeks while everyone else slept) they asked for Daddy to make the pancakes.  Michael poured the powdered mix in the bowl, but then realized that we were out of milk.  So he added some sort of whipping cream milk substitute concoction.  Then he realized that we had boiled all of the eggs and dyed them the night before.  Crap! He then said (directed towards me) “The Easter bunny should’ve checked in the fridge to make sure we had the ingredients to make pancakes!” I then heard Jaxon say, from inside the fridge door, “He did go in the fridge because there is the bag of extra carrots that I left out for him!”  Oops! Red in the face, I told everyone to just pretend like they were going to make pancakes, just so they could find the clue.  After 20 or so hints, they finally found it in the drawer with the spatula.  The clue was a picture word puzzle that stated that eggs were hidden in the backyard.  (I did mention that I was up until 2:00 AM, right?)

I told the kids that they would have to go on their Easter egg hunt later because we were running late getting ready to go to the shore for the great Ewing Easter Egg Hunt.  It took us longer to get dressed than I thought and the kids were told that they’d have to hunt for the eggs when we returned home later that evening, but they didn’t mind because the egg hunt at mom mom’s was all they had been thinking about for weeks.  At mom mom’s the great-grandkids found a total of 488 eggs! (Although, the total number of eggs hidden was unknown.  Some eager hiders got a jump start before a tally was made.)  Phoebe yelled “Ball!” every time she found one.

My mother had another egg hunt at her house before we ate dinner, but then the kids hid the eggs again and again and again.  They really don’t get tired of the egg hunting thing.

When we arrived home that night, the kids were already asleep in the van, so the eggs that were still in the backyard would have to wait until morning.  But they didn’t!  When the children ran outside to have the backyard hunt, I noticed plastic egg halves scattered about the backyard.  Hmm, I know I picked up the excess egg halves when I hid the “real” eggs. Upon closer examination, I noticed that the eggs had actually been gnawed into and the candy was missing.  Only a handful, out of the 40 eggs hidden, survived.  We even found a few of our eggs, eh-hem… I mean the Easter Bunny’s eggs, on the other side of the fence, in our neighbor’s yard.  Squirrel!

Worm Weather

24 Mar

aaahhh!  It was so sunny and beautiful this past weekend.  So, guess what I did?  I cleaned.  Imagine that? It put a whole new perspective on the term “spring cleaning” for me.  Well… I didn’t clean a lot.  I mean… I have kids that want to be played with, too.  Imagine that? So, I spent a little time cleaning, some more time sewing, and even more time playing.  Jaxon had scheduled playdates on Friday and Saturday, so I tried to entertain his guests as best I could, as well.

But, the weather… OMG… the weather! Oh, how I missed you Mr. Sun!  You are warm and beautiful and I swear I almost had a moment outside where I had to refrain from spinning around while singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” But, as I mentioned, Jaxon had guests and I must be… you know, “the cool mom”.  The song, however, was not so out of context as the hills of Bowie were definitely trembling from bass booming cars that were, also, happy to be riding around in the gorgeous weather.

While outside playing, Leila found this:

Quite possibly, the largest worm I’ve ever seen up close and personal.

She looks like she’s going to eat it here, but I assure you it’s just because she doesn’t understand the concept of cameras and their “It’s ok.  I can zoom out while you are holding the worm and get your face in the photo as well!”

After she put the worm down, Phoebe wanted to check it out.

What the hell is that?!

Dude, seriously, it like moves and sh*t!

This is Kah-Ray-Zee!  You are my new best friend.   I will carry you everywhere and I shall call you “Bawe” (aka “Ball”) because I call everything “Bawe”.  If you are not a “Lay La” (aka “Leila”), you are a “Bawe”.

Also, I feel the need to enter these photos:

Just to show you that she’s not all dirt and worms.  She’s also a prima-ballerina!

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